Irony piece

   Everything was going according to schedule, no calls had come in all day, and the unrest in the station was beginning to be palpable. All of the firefighters on duty were sitting around a table in the kitchen of the station, there were four of them on the clock on this particular Saturday night. Being a firefighter in a small town in Minnesota isn’t the most interesting job they weren’t anything special, but when something is on fire there’s no one you’d rather have there than these men.
   The oldest man there, sitting at the head of the table giving his gear a thorough look over was the Fire Chief, Chief O’Sullivan. He was hassling the new firefighter they had just hired, telling him to do menial tasks the whole day for his entertainment. Now, realizing how hungry he was, the chief yells to the young firefighter, “Hey Jack, why don’t you go make us some food to eat we’re all starving in here, hurry it up.” While picking up his mop and bucket Jack replied, “Alright Chief I’ll see what I can whip up in the kitchen”
   Jack exited the room leaving the chief behind with his two sons, Adam and Jerry. “What’s up with that kid? Is there something wrong with him? He has the IQ of a toaster!” Jerry said sounding rather annoyed with Jack’s presence. “You’re just salty because the kid scored better than you on the civil service exam, you can’t hold the kids achievements against him just because you’re jealous!” “Act like that’s my problem with him, I just don’t like” before he could finish the sentence his father interjected, “both of you shut your mouths, from the day you two could talk all you’ve done is bitch at each other, now go clean the fire truck off before I put my foot in your ass”
   As the two brothers leave the room, Jack returned with the ingredients necessary for his meal. He planned on making some baked chicken, nothing flashy or overly indulgent, just needed a simple healthy meal for some simple working men. He began the process of making dinner, slicing the chicken, breading it, preparing the side dishes. And when all the prep work was done, Jack triumphantly threw the pan into the oven and with a noticeable look of delight declared, “Alright Chief, food should be done soon enough!” “Great, I’m withering away over here.” the chief replied sarcastically while rubbing his protruding stomach.
   Out of nowhere, a deafening siren cut through the silence that filled the station, as the two brothers scrambled to get dressed and onto the truck the Chief turned to Jack. “You know what, you go today, I’m old and it’s probably only someone with a campfire that got out of hand, there be plenty more times for me to go out. It’s your time to get your feet wet.” Nervously Jack replied, “Are you sure? I usually stay here and everything goes alright that way, I don’t want to mess anything up!” “How are you going to learn if you don’t go out there and get experience? Now go, I’ll be able to handle this station by myself, I’ve done it for 30 years! Now go get dressed before they leave your ass here.”
   As soon as the chief was done saying it, Jack was already halfway out the door on his way to the truck, he was enthused for his first call, knowing it would be the first of many. The three firefighters leave the station fully clad in their gear, ready to put out any fire in their path. When they arrive on scene, it’s immediately evident that this is no routine call. A large house is engulfed in flames and they are the only thing standing between the fire and the surrounding homes and businesses. They start battling the fire and after hours of search and attempted rescue, the grim truth is revealed, there are no survivors. And on top they would have to start an investigation because the fire started in a suspicious pattern, destroying a large house in such a short time period.
   “Call the chief down, he’ll save us hours of work figuring this shit out.” Adam said as he turned to his brother and motioned towards the fire truck. Jerry jumped in the front seat, grabbed his phone and started to dial, thirty seconds pass and he shakes his head, “No answer…” “Keep calling him, you know he can’t hear shit.” Jerry tried a couple more times before he started to get worried, “You don’t think the old man lost his phone again do you?” “Try the station, he’ll have to pick it up!”  After dialing the number in, his heart dropped, running from the truck he grabbed his brother and put the phone to his ear. The monotone electronic voice calmly says, “The number you have tried to reach has been disconnected, please hang up and try again.”
   “Budget cuts, huh? How do they expect us to put fires out if no one can even fucking call us! Jerry, take the car back and grab our Dad, he needs to be here.” “Alright, let me grab the keys, I'll be right back!"

    The short drive back to the station drew on for what seemed like years, and something just seemed off. Jack noticed it for the first time when he turned the corner at the old graveyard, he was speechless. Fierce flames had engulfed the entirety of the fire station, and the flames were rapidly spreading to other parts of the building. Jack sat there in his car, immobilized, not knowing what to do. "Who the fuck do you call when your fire station burns down?."

3 Poems

ACROSTIC POEM:

Pressuring young minds into pursuing materialistic lives.

Unchanged despite the inefficiency.

Based upon the concept that everyone learns in the same way.

Largely ineffectual in encouraging struggling children to succeed.

Incongruous with the needs of young children.

Controlled by the government.

Encouraging mediocrity and underachievement.

Diminishing creative capacity.

Unsupervised and under regulated.

Creating stress and conflict

Accommodation over equality.

Tearing apart people’s images of themselves

Initiating a lifetime of dependence and excuses.

Oppositional to individualism and freedom.

Neglecting those who refuse to conform.

Refrain: Growing Up.

You climb your way to the top,

Paying your dues and waiting your turn.

Just to discover a false peak…

EPIGRAM

They tell you to get your degree and not be a slob,

But even if you get one, good luck getting a job.

For the rest of your life you will pay for it financially,

When in reality it didn't affect your career substantially.

Conforming and pursuing what society believes is right for you,

Despite the deep desire inside of you to do what you want to do.

When approaching life’s metaphorical fork in the road pause,

And think, do I truly believe in this cause?

Because a life spent constantly in regret,

Wondering how you’re going to pay back your debt,

Will wake you up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

Casting aside relationships and commitments in a narrow minded, blind pursuit,

So eager to throw everything away and uproot.

The real poetic aspect of this whole situation,

Is that if you give into the temptation,

And leave your comfort zone to obtain knowledge,

You disinherit and destroy the relationships you established before college.

2 TONES

     Chip Kelly, an all knowing, all seeing, wizard of the National Football League. Making personnel changes, trades, and cuts, no one would ever see coming. Slowly amassing weapons of mass football destruction like the crazed dictator of the Philadelphia Eagles. Strengthening the defense by re-signing DeMeco Ryans, his self proclaimed Mufasa. He also showed those who questioned LeSean McCoy's release that they knew not what they were talking about by signing Demarco Murray and all but guaranteeing the NFC East title this year. In Chip we trust.
   

     Chip Kelly, is he in over his head, or is he really a behind-the-scenes football genius? A great deal of the hype surrounding Chip comes from his days at Oregon University. He was a great coach there, using the hurry up offense, and blistering speed to out finesse his opponents. But that was in college, he has yet to prove himself in the league, and many Eagles fans are reluctant to place their trust in him. He signed the knee-less wonder, Sam Bradford, who has suffered two major knee injuries in the league, as well as letting our #1 receiver Jeremy Maclin walk, to that over sized walrus of a man Andy Reid and the Chiefs. I hope he can prove himself, but being an Eagles fan, I know he probably wont. Three things are constant: death, taxes, and disappointment for Philadelphia Eagles fans.

Distillation

    The Narrator of this excerpt uses decisive language and vividly describes the detriments of the scientific process, to express his negative attitude towards intellectuals. Through his diction, and comparison of the scientific process to the destruction of nature, the Narrator airs his opinions on the pursuit of knowledge. The Narrator's excerpt depicts intellectuals as individuals with "nothing to think of with your poor empty head, and nothing to do with with your poor idle hands..." This insight into the Narrator's mind provokes the question of whether or not the Narrator's views on intellectuals come from unfamiliarity or just plain ignorance.

Tone Letter

Dear Mr. Kefor,

     Although the English language is a beautiful one, and exploring it with such a scholarly individual as yourself is an engaging experience, this has been out of hand for a while. As the 2014-2015 school year has dragged on we have journeyed from journalism, to creative writing and film; throughout all of them I have been drowning in a sea of work. This work has not only been monotonous and tedious, but mentally taxing and maddening. You have shown no regard for the mental stability of my classmates and me, which is alarming because mental stability is something we are lacking. Some may argue that the work is beneficial, but if they say that then: A.) they are a freshman B.) they are a teacher C.) they are a square D.) A and C. I know you are aware of what you are doing because of the sarcastic and satirical comments you make, while sneering with your disparaging look. Behind those discouraging looks, I know your true motive, the complete mental destruction of your students. You continue to pile on work with a sick sadistic smile, like a psychopath burying someone alive one shovel-full of dirt at a time. Trying to balance this work with the stress of senior year is enough to make me snap mentally and set fire to your personal property. I appeal to your morals, to your humanity, that you cease this endless barrage of mental terrorism that is homework and writing assignments.

I strongly suggest a change,

George Reese

Apostrophe

     Oh! Chip Kelly, you wild and wondrous football wizard. What is it that you plan to do with the Eagles? Who do you plan to sign at wide receiver? What plans do you have in store for the draft? What is the next move? Will we win the NFC East? Will we finally bring a Superbowl to the city of brotherly love? I need an answer, and soon, but until then; In Chip We Trust.

Synedoche

     The sun seemed to be blocked out by the wings, casting a shadow over the ground below. The engines wailed harshly, breaking the calm, sleepy demeanor below. The flashing lights on the fuselage contrasting strongly against the pitch black of night.